And Baby Makes 8… ummm…. 9

And before you ask, no, I don’t know when we’ll go back to starting a family, or even trying. It’s been a crazy few months, and things will only continue to be crazy for awhile yet. 

It’s strange to keep up with all of your blogs - but I do - because I know that had things worked out in either of our cycles, we’d either have  a newborn or be expecting soon. Life has worked out very differently, and I don’t regret it. I’m starting to see our lack of “luck” ttc in 2008 as something good, something truly lucky. 

I love my new job in Toronto. It’s a perfect fit for me; from my team-mates, to my manager, to the work I’m doing every day. I’m growing as a developer in leaps and bounds, and every day so far has been a challenge; something I crave in my professional life and have rarely found for this long of a period. 

I’m renting a room with a roommate in a creaky old brick victorian. We share the second floor and I have the attic room to myself. It’s drafty and cold, but I’ve been a hot sleeper since I started on the Clomid, so I don’t really mind. Toronto is really comfortable to me. I love that I see gay couples holding hands almost every day of the week, no matter where I am in town. The food here is great, and cheaper than what I’m used to. I’m even blessed to have one of my bestest friends in town, and I’m looking forward to getting to know her even better over the weeks, months, and years. 

What’s not so great is that Sandra isn’t here yet, and we don’t have a definitive time frame for when we can expect to finish up the move. I’m here on my own for now, with the “kitten” Boo.

As much as I miss Sandra and the dogs and the other cats, it’s pretty fun getting to know him as an “only” cat. We got Boo as a kitten when the others were five years old, so he’s never been the only pet. He’s loving it, and loving the attention he gets from my roommate. 

So. The future and what will happen? I don’t know. What we’re talking about is trying to get Sandra knocked up once she’s living here and we’re a bit more settled. I won’t get parental leave or benefits until they convert my contract to perm, maybe in another 9 months, maybe in another two years. And I don’t know if we can wait that long if Sandra wants to carry, so that might mean parenting in a different way than I’d always imagined. 

Still. 

We’ll figure it all out. 

Don’t go away. I’ll keep updating here. In a lot of ways, this place is more private to me than my other blog. I know nothing online is truly private, but at least here, I feel like the folks who are reading are a smaller and more friendly audience than on my main blog. Thanks for that. I promise to write more often. 

But for now, I’ll leave you with a kind of silly pair of self-portraits that I kind of like. It’s a sweater pattern I’ll be publishing this weekend, and although I need to take a few more photos, I thought these two were pretty reflective of the place I’m in.

A few things to note:

1. I have lost a lot of weight
2. My hair is now longer than it’s been since I was in junior high.
3. I may not look it in either photo, but I’m on my way to being happier than I’ve been in a long time.