And Baby Makes 8… ummm…. 9

OK, I spoke way, way, way too soon about the Clomid. As j-k.c said on her earlier comment, it appears that the Clomid side effects don’t really start until about, well, now, and apparantly last through my cycle. What fun. What joyous fun.

It didn’t really hit me until about 12:30pm this afternoon, as I was teaching a friend how to warp a loom. My hand was holding about ten strands of wool, and then the hot flash started. Ick. I’ve had them before, but never this many or this intensely.

Sandra and I have also had about fifteen minor arguments today. This wouldn’t be weird, but considering we rarely fight or even bicker, it’s been baaaaad. Because we own the store together, my plan for getting through the next while is to find as much as I can to work on for the website, so I can stay in my office, or at home, or out of as many people’s ways as possible.

Yes, folks, it’s that bad.

Meanwhile, my friend Trish who had her second kidlet last year is just laughing and laughing and laughing. Apparantly, this is nothing.

Yikes.

OK, so the Clomid turned out to be fine for me. I took it at night and didn’t notice (much) excessive craziness at all, nor any other side effects. I know later in the week - day 4 of the Clomid - I was a little crankier than usual, but I could have just been reacting to Sandra being cranky.

In any case, I’m done with my 5 days of pills and have a few more days to wait before testing for my LH surge… officially. (Just in case, I started testing this morning.)

Today is Day 3, so I’ll start taking the Clomid tonight. Does anyone have any preference for evening vs. morning? The websites have said it doesn’t matter. I’m pretty used to taking things at night, and that way, I don’t have to pop a pill this morning and perhaps act like a lunatic in the airport tonight on the way to Vegas.

I had a nice talk with the gal at the clinic yesterday about what the next few weeks should look like. I’ll take the Clomid until Friday, then begin testing for my LH surge beginning April 2. She’s booked us for a 10:30am standing appointment during April 2 - 7. If I don’t show a surge during that time, I’ll need to phone back and get new instructions.

I’ve been taking my temp the last few days and am pretty happy that my body seems to be fairly “normal”, and it’s patterning the way it should be during a period. Imagine how good this would have made me feel years ago, to know that I probably was cycling without intervention. After all, I did have bouts with this watery spotting stuff that never turned into anything more. Who knew this was probably as much as I was going to bleed?

A slightly funny thing… not that I’m counting my eggs (ha!) or anything, but I did plug in the dates into some online calculator to figure out an approximate due date if this cycle works. And it’s December 27th. At first, this really puzzled me. I had done enough calculations - I thought - to put us well into a January due date. (Much better for the business). Ah well. Just because it’s not going according to my plans probably means it’ll happen. Murphy’s law, right?

I heard back from the clinic and, assuming things don’t get heavier by tomorrow, I should indeed consider this Day 1. I’m under instructions to phone back tomorrow and we’ll decide if today or tomorrow will be Day 1. Which means that I do get to drug myself up with Clomid starting maybe Monday, maybe Tuesday. Which puts us about two weeks ahead of where we thought we were in things.

EEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKK!

The really weird thing? My neurologist wanted me to be off the Keppra for 30 days prior to the first insemination. And, although I counted out the days backwards, I ended up getting too excited and taking myself off the drugs 2 weeks earlier than I would have needed to. And then I got my period on my own. 2 weeks earlier than if I had started one with the prometrium. Weird.

EEEEEEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

I think someone earlier asked if I had any “complicating factors” that may make getting knocked up a more difficult process. Since the age of 12 or 13, I’ve never been anywhere close to “regular”. I’d go ten or twelve months without a cycle, then have two in a row. I’ve been on birth control, progesterone, and several other things to try to make things behave normally. The prometrium (progesterone) works pretty well for me, and I took it for about 8 months last year. My prescription ran out in January, and I haven’t taken it since.

The plan for next week has been to start taking it again around the 27th on our way back from Vegas. (I don’t feel particularly great on the stuff, so I wanted to wait until we were back home.) This would induce a cycle and I should be ovulating three - four weeks later.

However, this week I’ve been really cranky. Really unreasonable. And I’ve had cramps. And cravings for ice cream. And yeah, this happened last month too. But after all the symptoms, I’d just end up with a day of really watery spotting. And then a day later, the cramps would go away.

My question is, Is This Day 1???.

It’s not “full flow” by any means. And it’s mostly dried up. But, if I were normal, is this when I’d be having a period? And what does that mean for my plans to take the prometrium next week? Will I screw myself up if I effectively cycle twice in a month? Will this hurt my chances of normal ovulation, even on the Clomid?

I’ve got a call in to the clinic and am waiting to hear back for their advice. I’m just hoping they don’t say I’ll need to wait longer before taking the prometrium. I just want to get going already!!!!

Not surprisingly, I’ve been spending a lot of time over the past month finding (and reading) all the lesbian TTC blogs I can find. Many, like us, are just starting the process. Others have been trying through home insemination, IUI, and IVF, for months and years. What I haven’t found much of are blogs where the pg came easily, within a few tries. Today, I found The Commune Child. Pregnant in the first at-home try.

So, it IS possible after all.

(** and, silly me, of course it is. And also, once a blogger has a baby, I suppose it’s no longer a TTC blog after all!)

Anyhow, there’s hope. And there’s officially a 20% chance of it working the first time. I don’t at all expect it will, but how weird would it be to expecting this Spring? Weird but wonderful.

I stopped driving a little over a week ago. No matter how I look at it, it stinks.

Now, it’s technically not THAT bad. Sandra and I only have one car, and we work together. So, it’s not any harder for her to be the one who drives to and from work.

Except for the fact that I really, really, really like to drive. I like the control of it, I like being the one to navigate the streets, and I just like knowing I can drive anywhere.

So far, I’ve been seizure-free, and to be honest, I expect it to continue this way. I’ve had periods of my life before when I haven’t had to be on any medication for the epilepsy, and have gone two years between seizures at times. Here’s hoping! After I’ve been a year seizure-free while not taking medication, I’ll be able to start driving again. But, the neurologist will put me back on if I start to have any episodes at all. The golden carrot in that case? I can start driving again 2 weeks later.

In the meantime, it’s the safest thing to be off the meds entirely. While I had been on a really low dose, it could still double the chances of neurological birth defects, and they just haven’t done enough testing to figure out what really might happen.

Probably as a counter-reaction to my super-productivity last month, I’ve been lagging in my knitting for the past few days. These slumps always wear me out more than they should… I cast on furiously for a new project and abandon it… or switch it out… just a few days later. On the plus side, I know that this little stage will end quickly and I’ll be back to my usual ways.

What you see above is my latest potential WIP. I’ve only knit a few rows of the entrelac on the Lady Eleanor Stole, and I’m debating whether or not I’d rather use this beautiful yarn (Noro Cashmere Island) for this, or for a cute top. I do love this yarn. So, this too is on hold, at least for a few days until I decide which way I want to go.

My long-languishing Manos “Norah” cardigan is also on hold. For some reason, I’ve been having palm cramps when I knit on it for a few rows. I’ve determined I need to do a lot of hand warmups with something easier (for me) to knit prior to starting in on this again. I have less than half a sleeve left to go - how frustrating! And yeah, although it looks better on Trish than it does on me, I’m really happy with the design, so no, I won’t show you just yet.

On the other side of things, something that’s been on hold for over a year has just been given the go-ahead. You probably know that I have epilepsy. I have had partial simple seizures, affecting just one or two of my senses, for the past decade. My seizures don’t look like anything you’ve probably heard of. I don’t fall to the ground, I don’t convulse, and I don’t stare off into the distance. I have no alteration of consciousness.

What I do have is a bad taste in my mouth, followed by a wave of nausea that disappears within about a minute. Sometimes, I smell bacon cooking. Definitely weird, and completely disturbing. I’ve been controlled by medication for much of the past decade, and still have the occasional seizure during the night.

What this means for a future family is that I had to wait until I could get into see my neurologist - one of Canada’s top epileptologists - to give us the go ahead to try to get preggers. Last week, he had a cancellation, and after a really good talk, we decided that I would go off the epilepsy meds for as long as possible; hopefully at least through the first trimester, and at least a month before our first try at conceiving.

I go off the medication in the middle of March, after which point, I won’t be able to drive until 12 months later seizure free, or I go on it again. And we’ll give the baby thing a shot in early April, if my cycle works out.

And now, because I don’t presume you have gone through this, I’m going to tell you a little bit about the process we’re about to start. There will be absolutely no knitting content beyond this point - I promise!

While many lesbian couples know a significant male friend to donate, we’re going with an anonymous donor. We’ve selected his profile from several dozen candidates that match my CMV status and share similar genetic features, such as height, hair color, and eye color. (Did you know you can browse donors online?) The clinic was able to give us an 8 page extended profile, including baby photos, and an essay. We liked that this particular guy is really into his family and dog, and decided to become a donor because he watched his best friend go through horrible infertility struggles. This week, we need to phone and order in 3 or 6 “kits”.

Near the end of March, I’ll start taking some progesterone pills to regulate my cycle and induce a period. On Day 1 of the period, I’ll call the clinic and they’ll tell me when to start taking Clomid, a drug that will increase my chances of ovulation. Because I’m polycystic, there’s a good chance that with the fertility medication, I’ll send out two or more eggs to be fertilized. (Twins? Scary!) Around Day 12 - 15, I’ll start testing myself to see if I’m ovulating. As soon as things look good, we call the clinic and go in for an intra-uterine insemination.

And, repeat that process 2 or 3 times more, hoping it works. If everything goes well, we might be pregnant this summer. If it doesn’t, we’ll be talking about other options, such as IVF, or seeing if Sandra can carry. I’m hoping things go well, but I’m prepared for this to be much harder and more challenging than we’d ever wish. I’ve seen other couples go through this, and although all the doctors say it looks like I’ll be able to get pregnant, you just never know.

In the meantime, we’ve spent all of our airmiles on a 5 day fling in Las Vegas just after Easter. (Because really, I’d take a baby just about anywhere else in the world.) I’m looking forward to sleeping in, staying up late, playing blackjack, and drinking and eating really well before we start this whole process. I know a lot of the medications won’t agree with me. I’ve been warned I’m going to turn into a hormonal bitch. It’ll be good to have some “us” time before all the excitement starts.

While we did start this process a year ago to get the referral to the fertility clinic, it seems both very long ago and just yesterday. But, having “passed” our consulation with the staff psychologist yesterday, I feel like we’re as ready as we’ll ever be. Life is feeling very much under control right now, and I’m loving that.

Wish us luck!

(Originally posted at indigirl.com.