And Baby Makes 8… ummm…. 9

It’s been a long time since I’ve posted here. We’re unfortunately no closer to TTC again, although we’re finally living in the same city at long last!

I’m still on contract at my job, and Sandra’s looking for work, so until one of us gets full time permanent with benefits, we can’t realistically think about procreating. I also absolutely adore where I’m working, so leaving without being assured of coming back would be unthinkable.

Still.

The clock, she ticks.

My bestest friend in the whole wide world is expecting her first this spring. I’m so happy for her, but I wish it wasn’t so bittersweet.

I’ve also been checking in on some of the ttc blogs I read back when we were actively trying. So crazy to see babies conceived during our failed cycles turning into toddlers! With second ones on the way!

So anyhow. We wait, a little longer.

Seriously. WTF? 36 days? I had to merge two cycles in fertility friend because FF didn’t believe me.

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edited to add: I went to the women’s health center last night and they checked me out. They weren’t super concerned yet, since the bleeding has been (until yesterday) really light. If I’m still going strong in a week, I’m supposed to go back for a referral to a specialist. Unfortunately, moving provinces means I have to leave all my fabulous Calgary doctors behind and start from scratch, more or less.

I guess the big news is out by now, for those of you who read my public blog at indigirl.com anyway. I’ve moved to Toronto to start a new job. Sandra’s still back in Calgary. We’ve put the shop for sale and are hopeful we’ll find a great new mom for our first “baby”. 

As for TTC, I don’t know what the next year will hold for us. It turns out that my new job is awesome, and I won’t consider going on mat leave here until my position is secure enough to guarantee it’ll be there when I come back. Maybe that’ll happen after my first year is up, maybe not. So, the next step would be to see what Sandra’s new job - when she gets one - looks like. Maybe try to get her knocked up. Who knows. 

I’m keeping this blog open and will continue to update when things change or move forward. I just don’t know when that’ll be.

Why, WHY, did I get my period now for three months in a row when we’re not even thinking about trying to knock me up? And why is it DAY FREAKING 7 of my period with no sign of stopping?

WHY??????

I had a very unsatisfying meeting with my primary RE at the clinic. I showed her my cycle information, expressed my very strong concerns that the Clomid hasn’t really done anything. She treated me like a child. Made me cry. Made me incredibly angry, not that that’s a hard thing to accomplish these days. 

I have two options for whenever we’re going to try this next.

1. (Her fav) Take 100mg of Clomid for days 2 - 11 of the next cycle.

2. Begin a super-ovulation/IUI cycle that will probably either be cancelled due to too many follicles, or converted to an IVF cycle. 

In the meantime, since it’s been over a year since I did all my labs and exams, I need to go for an ultrasound, another HSG, and four rounds of blood work. I’m also supposed to start taking prometrium to induce a cycle since it’s already day 41. 

Great. 

I hate my clinic.

Well, we’re back on hold. Again. I guess it’s just a big sign that life needs to stabilize a little more before either of us is ready; emotionally and physically. And, it’s looking more and more like we’ll get back to me later, and focus on getting Sandra knocked up in 2009. 

I’m going to keep blogging. It’s good to have a place to talk about this, especially since I’m keeping it off of the main blog. 

Babies will happen. When it’s right.

And no, I haven’t started my period yet. Day 30-something.

Without drugs.

So what do we do? Do we try this month? I’ve been on the job 6 weeks. And I have high hopes for any cycle that begins “naturally”….

And yeah, this is a big deal. First time since March. MARCH people. MARCH.

It’s kind of weird to see so many due dates approaching, people who got pregnant in cycles when we tried. But good. It’s good. And I’m happy. I’m totally ok with this break and know that the things I’m working on will only help us be more successful with baby-making plans when we decide to give it another shot.

I’m really enjoying my new job. I’ve been here for long enough now to have some great projects to work on, and enough knowledge to start taking initiative in solving problems. It’s a good place to be. And financially, it’ll definitely help us get some savings put aside, get some medications covered by benefits. So that’s good too.

Since I now have the distinct advantage of a regular work schedule, I’m also finding it a lot easier to build in some healthy life changes. I signed up for Weight Watchers. Again. But this time I’m going to meetings on tuesdays during lunch. The first meeting was pretty hokey, but my theory is that the responsibility to go and weigh in will help keep me on track. That and there was a girl my age there this week who had taken off 70 pounds and had maintained it for 6 weeks, so she got her “lifetime”. If she can do that, I can take off 30 - and keep them off.

And I’ve been taking walks during lunch. The daylight is great for my head, and the stretch in my legs is good for my body. And I went back to yoga last night for the first time in nearly a year. All good things. It’s kind of sickening, isn’t it?

So, that’s the news from here. We haven’t really talked about when to try again. Not this month. I know that much. And probably not September, either. I want life to feel less chaotic before we introduce another little bit of chaos.